When you hold tears in, you're holding everything in. Your secrets, your pain, your trust, your hope, your secret and some may also think, you're Dignity. You hold your tears because you don't want anyone to know that deep down inside, you are not okay. You want to seem strong, you want to feel independent in controlling your emotions. Or you think that the cause of those tears is stupid, something not worth crying for, and you don't want to seem idiotic to be carrying on with something unworthy of your tears. That's where your sense of Dignity kicks in.
Pride. You think crying in front of people will make you seem weak. You think that your tears will make another one cry too. So what do you do? You swallow them in. Every time you feel the need to cry, your swallowing become a challenge. But you keep going on, you don't want to cry. You Hold It In. You keep doing it, holding on to so much memories that makes you want to cry but didn't because you forced yourself to. And it keeps piling on and on.
One day, you will burst. You won't know when, tomorrow? Next Week? Next Year? Next 10 years? It will break one day. All your pain, your sorrow, all the memories you want to forget but couldn't because you are so confused, so you keep holding on until you figure the memory out. When you do reach to the point of explosion, you will have years of pain and depression in you, leading you to some serious damage, Emotionally, Mentally and in worse cases, Physically.
So why wait until the moment of Explosion. There is so many people to talk to. You always have your family, and if you don't feel comfortable sharing deep thoughts with family, there is always your mates. You may think that you can't trust some of your mates, but there are many that you can't. But if you still wouldn't feel comfortable, there are those friends who you are not really close with, but are still ready to listen. There is so many people with open ears. They may not have the perfect responds, but you will feel a heck lot better when you spit your heart out. Count on it :)
Well, the main point of this post is to let you know that it's okay to
share. No one will judge you of being weak, No one will say that you are crying
because of a stupid reason, Those who understand will NEVER judge you for it.
Because if something caused you to scar this badly, it must not have been a
stupid reason. So open up a bit, you have nothing to lose by sharing.
Trust with your heart, not with your head.
No one is themselves when they are angry or depressed.
Much Love, Jamie
